How Do I Decide?
Problem solving and decision making.
In daily life, there are many problems that we need to solve, many decisions we need to make. From what to have for breakfast, and what clothing should I and my children wear today, to choosing a form and place of education, and which doctors and therapists to bring into our children’s lives, there are many decisions big and small to be made.
What is involved in the challenges we face? Oftentimes, we are confused. Sometimes that confusion leads to anger and overwhelm. Anxiety and worry are also emotions that we experience as we face making decisions.
Jesus tells us in the Gospel of Matthew chapter 6, verses 27 through 34, “Do not worry … Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” We enjoy watching the birds at a feeder in our front yard. They are visible examples of God’s care of us. Our Heavenly Father feeds them. And we are more valuable than they are! Flowers, trees, and plants are coming alive this Spring and are dressed in beautiful colors. They also are visible examples of God’s care for us. Our Heavenly Father clothes them. And we are more important than they are. He will take care of us. We have to make a point to sit with that and let it sink in.
Sometimes our reactions to the challenges and emotions we have while making decisions can keep us from experiencing joy in our parenting journey. So, what are some “what to do about it pieces” to help us get through each day?
What can we put into place to help us through the problem solving we must do?
Realize that you are not alone.
Addressing Anger: Recently we spoke to a group of mothers of preschoolers and one topic they wanted us to address was anger. All parents at one time or another have had to deal with their own internal frustrations and anger. We did. We are sure you do, too.
So, what can we do?
- First, recognize that it usually has a deeper cause. Try to uncover what that cause is and address it.
- Secondly, realize that it doesn’t make you a bad parent/person to have feelings of anger.
- Thirdly, have a go-to plan to work your way out of the frustration. For example:
- Shoot up an arrow prayer
- Write in a journal
- Punch a pillow
- Speak into your phone’s “notes” app
- Text a friend
- Have a good cry
Ask the God of all wisdom for wisdom and direction in this situation you are facing. He knows. He does. He cares. He truly does.
Listen for a prompting in your heart. In other words, listen to your gut. Listen through information that comes before you. Listen by way of conversations you have with others. Listen through others who are preaching and teaching the Word of God. Listen by way of experts who may have some pieces of information helpful to you.
Gather information. Warning: there is SO much information out there, be cautious. Sift everything through the filter of God’s Word and what the Holy Spirit is prodding you to think and do.
- With other parents. These are the folks on the front lines and in the trenches. We have learned so many practical things from those who have gone before us.
- With professionals you trust and with whom you resonate. If the professional with whom you are working is not on the same page with you, consider finding one who is.
After praying, researching, consulting, and listening with your head and your heart, map out what options you have. Then, take action.
You can always evaluate all along the process.
Remember, the God who created the universe, that God who made our children, He is also:
- The One who calls us.
- The One who equips us.
- The One who cares.
The One on whom He invites us to lean.
If you are looking for more support in your parenting journey, please email us at MarchForthFamily@gmail.com. Let’s get the conversation started.
With much love,
Tom and Julie Meekins
Image courtesy of patrisyu, freedigitalphotos.net