Sometimes our children are capable of more. Strike that. Most of the time our children are capable of more. Children with challenges often are either comfortable and content to be just where they are in their development and don't make the effort to move forward or are fearful of moving forward. And, let's face it, parents -- sometimes we just need a break. If they are content there or somewhat stable there -- we move on to another focus. Be it our spouse, other children, our job, the house, a volunteer position -- sometimes we just need another outlet for our attention. Are you with me?
And that is okay. For. A. Time. But then comes the season to come back around to ask the question: "Is my child stuck in the fear of the unknown?" or "Can we reach for more to give more ability to my child who has challenges?" Is it the moment NOW for you to ask "What can I do now to help my child move ahead?" I say that with love and not criticism.
I am there. Now is the time to help our Amy to the next level.
She has come so far. She really is a miracle story. With a prognosis of blind, deaf, mentally retarded -- probably will not walk, talk or eat by mouth -- she has attained more development than anyone could have imagined. She is ready to take online college classes. She has created videos to help promote our webinars. She has beta tested for a prominent game company and will be beta testing a new teen entrepreneur program next month! These are incredible milestones! And we rejoice!
AND we know there is more she can do. In terms of certain life skills, she would be content to let sleeping dogs lie and to stay right where she is in life. In fact, she has even reported to me and her dad that she really doesn't want to be 19 and that she really doesn't want to grow up. I get it. Growing up requires venturing into the unknown. Status quo is so much easier.
However, we know she is capable of so.much.more! We know it. We also know that at this time, it is our loving project to firmly help her launch. We are on a "journey for independence". This has been our motto for her in the last few years.
This is not unlike our other three children as they moved through the various stages of their development, each month and year moving them closer to the day they would be out on their own. Sometimes it was painful and we resisted as parents BUT they moved ahead anyway. All to everyone's best interest. And we are grateful. They are vibrant, self-sufficient, caring adults. We are proud of them. We rejoice. Now, it is Amy's turn.
The difference between her siblings and Amy is that they moved ahead on their own -- sometimes faster than we would have wished! With Amy -- we must make a commitment to help her launch, to give her wings, to help her know her magnificence.
Maybe you know some typically developing young adults who also struggle with being happy with status quo and they too need a bit of a nudge as well.
Here are some ideas we have found helpful and hope they may trigger some support for you.
1. Take an assessment of where your child is right now socially, with physical development, with learning abilities, etc. No matter what age. No matter what challenges (labels or no labels).
2. Consider your goals for this child in those areas and others that are important to you. Write them down.
3. Now think about one thing you can do to take just the next step in moving this child/teen/young adult along in each of those areas.
4. Make a doable plan to implement those steps.
5. Get support from loving friends/family to hold you accountable in this project. It is so worth it for everyone.
What if we didn't help our children to spread their unique preciousness into the world? What blessings would the world miss out on?
If you need help in any of these five steps, we would love to assist you and encourage you in your planning and implementing. You may want to consider private coaching with us. We have several packages and there is bound to be something that works for your family. Send us an email requesting a complimentary Get Acquainted Call to discuss your concerns and to let you know what we have in place to help.